Ten good reasons to join the church

WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUR MONEY?

You know the problem that you get a lot of money of raise in saleries, income of black working, money from heritages and gifts, slush - funds, and so on and so on.
The insurance sents permanent checks, and the fiscal office drives you mad with often tax provisions.

Where are with the money? It´s terrific!

The pass book doesn´t bear interest, and if you buy immovables, you will get nothing but aggravation with your lodgers...

But the church will help you when you are hard pressed. The clergyman of you local parish will like to tell you the number of its bank account.





LET YOUR KID TO BE CHRISTENED!

So the child has got the opportunity to take legal steps against the church later in order to get a smart money of at least five millions $. And so the future of your child will be secured.

No fear! Your child cannot take legal steps against you because you are obliged to christen your child by the laws of the church.



YOU ARE LOCKING FOR A NEW EMPLOYMENT?

You want a sweet and patient work? You do´nt want to overwork yourself? You are locking for an employer who tolerates crooked ways?
Than the church will be the right employer for you!
The only thing is you will have to refrain from writing critical readers - letters to East German newspapers.





YOU ARE A NEO NAZI?

If the established politicians further break down to solve the social and economical problems of our country, your party will get a chance!

Look for allies!

As the case may be the church will help your party to take over the power in the state - such like in Germany with Adolf Hitler in 1933.

HEIL!





YOU HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A FAMOUS SINGER?

...but your neighbours do not like your terrific and brainless roaring?
Join the church - choir, you will be welcome there!
Our master Jesus Christ grew himself a little hard of hearing during the last 200 years.




YOU DO NOT WANT TO JOIN THE ARMY?

The university of Bebra offers a special course of instruction of evangelical and catholic theology for idle life students. Efficience test are only necessary after the 32th semester, but than you will be to old for joining the army.




DO YOU WANT TO MARRY?

Don´t choose an emancipated women! You need a woman who ist willing to clean your house, to wash your clothes. A woman shall be humble the man! She has to work a care for her husband, the man alone has the right to decide for the family!

THE RIGHT CHOOSE: A CATHOLIC WOMEN!



SENT YOUR KIDS TO A CATHOLIC KINDERGARTEN!

Do you want kids hanging about, smoking opium and being still living of you till you will die?
No, kids need a hard education! Sent your kids to a catholic kindergarten. There they will learn submission, dilligence, discipline and will become good patriots.
But it´s a hard luck that corporal punishment was abolished...







ARE YOU A MASOCHIST?

In this case Christianity will be your first choice. You can fell guilty of the crimes the church have commit for 2000 years: Wars, genocides, slavery, holocausts and and and...

At first you can train to feel guilty because of Jesu martyrdom.

 

 

DO YOU ARE A SADIST?

Christianity is also very useful for sadists. You can pain people by threatening them with the hell, the purgatory and the eternal damnation.
Especially kids will become your victims!

Good luck!

Homepage