The two missionaries from America

Two missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter - day Saints from Utah have settled in the home - town of the evangelical clergyman who didn´t evade taxes.

There were coming to the land of Karl Marx, Joerg Haider and Hape Kerkeling in order to bring to the godless Germans the mission of Jesus Christ. They have learned the German language in America before to can speak with the aboriginies.

...but what kind of land is Germany at all?

Tne new citiziens of our clergyman´s hometown:
Mr. Eliot Grasham and Mr. Eliot Cunderwell

"Oh Eliot, where have we been landed here?"

"Eliot, the Germans are the people of poets and philosophers and ingenious inventors. They brought motor - cars, rockets and color - tv to the mankind."

"...and thereby they brought the scourge of talk - shows to the people. They speed like idiots over their narrow autobahns and love animals more than their kids."

"Eliot, I think we have to do a difficult mission here."

Picture: Our order: The unity of our fatherland!

But the Germans do care really about their fatherland.

The two missionaries are very impressed that the federal ministry of public relation makes schemes against animosity to strengers.

"Yes, Eliot I ´ll think that Germany shall sum up..."

"...and shall become mighty and Christian!"

The Germans are a very religious people. They preserve their old churches decorating the whole of the country.

"But Eliot, the churches are always empty!"

"Why don´t the Germans make cowshed from the churches as like as in the Sovjet - Union in former days? Do they want to keep a back - door open?"

"To find out this that will be our mission."


To find out what´s the matter the two missionaries meet the evangelical clergyman who didn´t evade taxes.

The evangelical clergyman tells about his work

"We are being paid by the state and are living here very well at all. The Germans are not interested in religion and church at all. They are only thankful for a romantic wedding with white clothes in a still more romatic chapell. You can sell worthless fineries still very well. you think at our garden - gnoms. And it will still make a good impression to be buried with a clergyman one day.

When there are people leaving the church we will urge them a bad conscience that we have to minimize our social enterprises which are being paid by the state. One mustn´t always say the truth.

Some colleagues care at least about members who have left the church , because of the church - taxes would decline. But it´s all the same to me. I will get my old age pension in ten years and till up then the church will sweat it out. I keep quiet and get my money, that´s all."


"But Eliot, it cannot bepoosible that the Germans are really not interested in the dear God!"

"Oh, Eliot, have a look at the mystic signs at the border of the way?"

The missionaries have followed the mystic signs and soon they find an old Germanic place of worship in the Rhine - Elbe park in Gelsenkirchen. There are taken place mystic devine services at each third friday at midnight - but only if the weather will be fine, because otherwise you will get wet.

"Eliot, do you think the Germans want to get back their old Germanic religions?"

"No, Eliot, I think that are only exceptional cases. But if you think how much ther Germans love horoscopes, esoterics and so on, our Church of Jesus Christ of Latter - days Saints will have a chance in this country!"

"Eliot, you are right. The great German state - churches got ruined by bad management. We will see what we can do here."

"Yes Eliot. A peaceful of Christians and atheists should be possible."